FMF: Ordinary Girl Loves an Ordinary Boy

TGIF!  Date night's in a little less than an hour.  My FMF is coming later than usual because spent the day writing Third Way Womanhood part 4—I'm thiiiiiiiiiiiis close to finishing, but I needed a break so I popped over to Lisa-Jo's site and grabbed today's prompt.  Since y'all know Jesus works on me through media and music, it shouldn't be a surprising that today's prompt reminded me of John Legend's ultra-cool, but gritty love song, "Ordinary People". (click the link for the music video)

I hope y'all are encouraged by a look at our early years of marital conflict in today's FMF called:

Start

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Ordinary Girl Love an Ordinary Boy

The first time I heard John Legend’s “Ordinary People”, my husband and I were quarrelling.

Not the “oh he’s so annoying, but still cute, so I’ll quickly kiss and forgive him” quarreling.  No, the type of quarrelling that lasts for days.  The disjointed and red  dreams at night because the sun set on your anger quarrelling. The can’t look at you without replaying the words you said quarrelling. The “who are you, why are you so angry, and what have you done with my husband?” quarrelling.

To this day, I can’t remember why that season was so contemptuous for us, but it was in the midst of this time that I was driving home from the grocery store and this song came on.

I hummed along to the melody. I nodded to the beat. I sang along to the last chorus.  I sighed at the lovely piano driven song.

That night the quarrelling resumed and as I laid on my bed preparing once more for  angry, red, disjointed dreams, I ranted to Jesus, which I’m wont to do.

As I complained and condemned husband for every hurt word, action, and deed this song drifted to me in the dark.

We’re just ordinary people, we don’t know which way to go.

Which way do I go, Lord?  I’m just an ordinary girl in love with an ordinary boy and things are extraordinarily hard. 

take it slow, sometimes we take it slow.  Jesus reminded me using the words from the end of the chorus.

Slow. Slow?  What are you telling me, Lord?

Then a scripture I’ve quoted often and followed rarely pressed into my heart,

“slow to speak, slow to anger.”

And the conviction that came both seared and soothed.

In my pride I held onto the offenses blaming my ordinariness in this new, past the novelty phase marriage, but what about my husband?      

Was he as ordinary as me? 

Ordinary in his anger management?

Ordinary in his word choice?

Ordinary in his compassion?

Ordinary in as a new husband?

If so, then he’s just an ordinary boy in love with an ordinary girl who doesn’t know which way to go.

I should give him the grace I expect.  I should kiss and forgive, even if I have to do it every single day. 

So I prayed for grace, with my tear-stained cheek pressed to my pillow before drifting off to sleep, settled to forgive, determined to love, full of peace that surpasses all understanding.

The quarrelling continued in the post-fairy tale phase of marriage until we learned to respond to ordinary moments of frustration with extra-ordinary grace— but the hurt, the pain, and red, angry, disjointed dreams went away. 

Because I learned to take it slow. 

It’s true we’re just ordinary people, but we serve an extraordinary Forgiver who empowers us to be slow to speak, slow to anger, and quick to love. 

Stop

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